Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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