so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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