i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
