Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i dont even know how to be here
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
