Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
