I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
