just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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