bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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