epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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