Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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