I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
