I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize