census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
