just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
