In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
