We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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