How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
only if we run a train.
done.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
