How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
His nipple licking is glorious
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