Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
