you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Randomize