He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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