Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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