It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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