I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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