I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize