That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
