Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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