On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
