I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
