dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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