That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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