She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just want nice things and good sex
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Randomize
