she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
did you just send me my own nude
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
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