can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize