Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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