There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
