I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
