My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
