It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize