is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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