So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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