even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize