Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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