Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
