i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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