Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
