whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
