do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
