My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
