Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
