Dual....:-)
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
