I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize