There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
