It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Couch. On fire.
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