That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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