Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize