The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
The uberlube is also flammable
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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