dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
