Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize